The Quiet Space

There’s a strange thing that happens when you find yourself caught in the web of a narcissistic relationship: you start to disappear. Not all at once, but slowly. Piece by piece. Until one day, you hardly recognize yourself at all.

For a long time, I wondered why I allowed myself to shrink so much. Why I handed over my voice, my confidence, my light – just to keep the peace. And maybe you’ve asked yourself the same.

The answer isn’t simple, but it’s painfully human.

We Shrink to Survive

When love feels conditional – when speaking up or standing tall brings punishment – we learn to fold ourselves smaller. It’s safer that way. Easier to avoid conflict. Easier to dodge the silence, the anger, the guilt trips. Survival becomes more important than authenticity.

We Shrink Slowly

It doesn’t happen overnight. It begins with small comments, subtle criticisms, the unspoken rule that their comfort matters more than yours. Over time, you start believing that if you just soften enough, bend enough, give enough – things will go back to the way they were at the start.

We Shrink Out of Hope

That’s one of the cruelest tricks: the hope trap. You remember the charm, the love-bombing, the early fireworks. You convince yourself that if you just stay quiet, if you just do better, if you just shrink a little more – the person they were in the beginning will come back.

We Shrink Because We’re Taught To

So many of us are raised to equate love with sacrifice. To endure. To forgive. To give, even when it hurts. A narcissist knows exactly how to use that against us. They make our shrinking feel like devotion, when in reality, it’s erasure.

But here’s the truth I had to learn: shrinking wasn’t weakness. It was a survival strategy. It was my way of protecting myself in a situation where I didn’t feel safe.

The victory is this – I don’t live small anymore. I found the pieces of myself I had tucked away, and I refuse to hand them over again.

If you’re reading this and you recognize yourself in these words, know this: you are not weak for having shrunk. You were surviving. And now you get to grow again, in ways no one can dim.

✨ Affirmation Mantra ✨

I will never shrink myself to fit into someone else’s comfort.

My voice is strong.

My light is sacred.

I take up space, and I am worthy of love exactly as I am.